Going Sober.

Today I have decided to begin a month of sobriety.

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As most of you will probably know by now, I suffer with mental health problems. I haven’t discussed this in too much detail on my blog, instead I have spoken about things that affect my mental health or things that are affected by it and this post is going to be very much a long those lines.

Anyone who takes anti-depressants on a regular basis will know that the majority of the time you are advised not to drink alcohol whilst medicated however, if like me, there is a high possibility that you will be on these tablets for a long time, if not the rest of your life, you are often able to begin to introduce alcohol little by little back into your life. This is what I have been trying to do but unfortunately, I have given up.

Every time I have a drink, whether it’s just one or maybe a few, I will wake up the next morning feeling awful. I instantly feel symptoms of anxiety creeping up on me and some days it can even bring my depression up to the surface. We all know that alcohol is a depressant so it’s no surprise really that this happens. For a while, I kept adjusting how much and what I was drinking, in an attempt to discover my limit but I kept waking up the following day feeling like everything was too much to handle.

I have come to the conclusion that whilst I’m in a situation where my mental health is slightly un-stable and my body is getting used to the medication I am taking, I need to lay off the booze. This has brought me to the decision that I shall be going sober from a month starting today.

It’s going to be an interesting journey and I’m not sure how it will pan out but what I do know is that I need to look after myself and alcohol is not assisting in that. An extra bonus to this is that hopefully I will save some money!

I will post on here after the month and summarise how it was and my next steps. If you are sober, straight edge or have had any experience with giving up drinking I would love some advice!

Thanks for reading & have a fabulous day/night/evening!

 

Fiends Forever

As I’m sat here preparing myself to watch The Walking Dead, I thought I would talk a little bit about my love of horror. It’s about time you got to know me!

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If you hadn’t realised by now, I love all things creepy, gory and genuinely anything that your average person would cringe at. I have always had an interest in the supernatural and anything ghoulish and this became more apparent when I was in junior school. I would find myself creating ‘ghost clubs’ and constantly researching about the supernatural and discussing it with my friends, regardless of how terrified they would get. I specifically remember a book in the school library about ghosts that I used to read over and over; I wish I could still remember the name of it!

Luckily for a weirdo like me, I had a best friend who was equally as weird (YES ELLIE, I’M LOOKING AT YOU!). We would spend so much time talking about things that most youngsters would have no interest in. We would love scaring ourselves and would often encounter supernatural experiences together. Now, there is a very likely chance that there was a logical reason for all of these goings on and that we just hyped each other up to the point where we thought we saw/heard something, or perhaps it was genuinely real as I’m fairly sure some things I have experienced have been real.In the future I would like to talk more about my spooky experiences because I personally love hearing other people’s ghost stories.

So, from quite a young age, Ellie and I would watch horror films together. I specifically remember watch Hide and Seek, Final Destination and When a Stranger Calls together. I also, from a young age, had an obsession with witches, an obsession which still stands today and I honestly have no idea where this obsession came from. When I was younger my parents would always tell me that monsters and ghosts etc. weren’t real however, as I got older I actually discovered that my mum believes a lot more than she let on; what a little liar right!tenor

As I got older, more and more horror was introduced to my life; Vampires, Zombies, Werewolves, Ghosts, Witches, you name it. Then around the age of fifteen/sixteen I discovered the world of serial killers. It all began with an unhealthy interest in Jack the Ripper and progressed from there.

Nowadays, I’m well known amongst friends and family for living and breathing halloween and horror. I love the films, the books, the television programs and I especially love true life creepy stories. I can’t help it.

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Picking up the Pieces.

Today is going to be a bit of a heart to heart. I haven’t blogged in a while and this post should hopefully explain some of the reasons why.

Some of you may, or may not know that I suffer with mental health problems. Unfortunately, this does not mean that I just feel a bit anxious sometimes or I get down in the dumps. I suffer quite intense mental health problems. Over the last year, I have struggled with my mental health more than ever before. I was officially diagnosed with depression and anxiety around July 2016 and was advised to take anti-depressants. I was also offered six free counselling sessions through my work which I could not have been more grateful for.

It’s eight months on and I’m finally beginning to feel like myself again; I have been back at work and I must say, I’ve thrown myself into it. Some people might think that I’m pushing myself too much however, I’m really loving feeling good again and I want to make the most of it.

Today, hasn’t been great. I received a rejection from a job that I had applied for, a job that I REALLY wanted. I had tried so hard at the interview and gave almost all I could, as you do in an interview, but unfortunately, it just wasn’t my time.

I had a cry of course, all the thoughts ran through my head like ‘All of that effort was for nothing.’ but, it wasn’t for nothing. It would be so easy for me to be disheartened about the whole situation but, this is not what is going to happen. I’m going to pick myself up and get on with it. I’m hoping more than anything that this will give me something to work on and I can use this opportunity to progress.

I have always been a strong believer that things happen for a reason and I’m sure there is a reason why this wasn’t my time, hopefully this will come to light eventually. Maybe there’s a publisher just waiting to pick up my book idea?! Haha, wishful thinking there!

Either way, if I look at this situation as a whole, it’s not ideal but, it’s amazing to see how far I have come. A few months ago I was so in the dark that I couldn’t see the light; now I’m able to pick myself up and look at the positives, this in itself is a massive achievement!

I have never really posted anything this personal on my blog however, I want anyone who is having a hard time to know that it can get better, you just have to be patient and persistent. You can do it!

If anyone needs any advice or just someone to listen, feel free to drop me a message. There’s nothing more rewarding than knowing that you can be there for someone in their time of need.

xXx