Return of the Viper

I’m such a slacker. I cannot express how annoyed I am at the fact that I haven’t posted on here since March 26th! Dearie me, what a let down. However, I am back and I really do plan to stick to it this time. I can tell you are all desperate to hear what I have been up to, so here goes.

Firstly, and probably the most important thing that has occurred in my life lately is that I have a new job! Yep, you heard me right, I am no longer working at Lush. You are probably thinking thumb_IMG_1801_1024that I’m mad to give up that job, but in all honesty when it really comes down to it, working at Lush is just a retail job and I’m really not the biggest fan of retail work. Three years was a pretty good run with the company and I made some fun memories of course, but the time came where I needed to move on. Now heres the exciting part; I am now working for St John Ambulance as part of their events team! I am loving my new job and the hours are much better suited to me. As someone who writes, blogs, makes videos and all the other things I attempt to cram into my life, it’s great for me to have my evenings and weekends free.

My novel writing is going well. I now have a concrete plot-line and characters. I spent some time putting together a concrete plan and I re-discovered my motivation for writing. Expect a finished first draft by the end of this year!

My YouTube videos have been extremely successful and enjoyable lately. I am making mainly book related videos, I feel that this makes more sense as it is a subject that I am passionate about and can talk about for hours. It also ties in well with my book writing and I’m using YouTube to document my novel writing. Bex Viper on YouTube

I have started a book club! It’s something I have wanted to do for so long now and I finally took the plunge. It’s still early days but there has been tons on interest, so I’m pleased. If you would like to join the book club then follow this link: Books Bloody Books

I don’t have much else to add on here other than the fact that I did go sober for a month! It was the detox that I needed however, now I’m back on the occa17799093_10206782950252823_1817104917970282624_nsional gin, of course. The plan is to keep up with this blog, using it to document things that interest me, things I want to express and just a place to post general ramblings.

Thanks for reading this rather pointless post and I’ll be back soon!

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Going Sober.

Today I have decided to begin a month of sobriety.

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As most of you will probably know by now, I suffer with mental health problems. I haven’t discussed this in too much detail on my blog, instead I have spoken about things that affect my mental health or things that are affected by it and this post is going to be very much a long those lines.

Anyone who takes anti-depressants on a regular basis will know that the majority of the time you are advised not to drink alcohol whilst medicated however, if like me, there is a high possibility that you will be on these tablets for a long time, if not the rest of your life, you are often able to begin to introduce alcohol little by little back into your life. This is what I have been trying to do but unfortunately, I have given up.

Every time I have a drink, whether it’s just one or maybe a few, I will wake up the next morning feeling awful. I instantly feel symptoms of anxiety creeping up on me and some days it can even bring my depression up to the surface. We all know that alcohol is a depressant so it’s no surprise really that this happens. For a while, I kept adjusting how much and what I was drinking, in an attempt to discover my limit but I kept waking up the following day feeling like everything was too much to handle.

I have come to the conclusion that whilst I’m in a situation where my mental health is slightly un-stable and my body is getting used to the medication I am taking, I need to lay off the booze. This has brought me to the decision that I shall be going sober from a month starting today.

It’s going to be an interesting journey and I’m not sure how it will pan out but what I do know is that I need to look after myself and alcohol is not assisting in that. An extra bonus to this is that hopefully I will save some money!

I will post on here after the month and summarise how it was and my next steps. If you are sober, straight edge or have had any experience with giving up drinking I would love some advice!

Thanks for reading & have a fabulous day/night/evening!

 

Fiends Forever

As I’m sat here preparing myself to watch The Walking Dead, I thought I would talk a little bit about my love of horror. It’s about time you got to know me!

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If you hadn’t realised by now, I love all things creepy, gory and genuinely anything that your average person would cringe at. I have always had an interest in the supernatural and anything ghoulish and this became more apparent when I was in junior school. I would find myself creating ‘ghost clubs’ and constantly researching about the supernatural and discussing it with my friends, regardless of how terrified they would get. I specifically remember a book in the school library about ghosts that I used to read over and over; I wish I could still remember the name of it!

Luckily for a weirdo like me, I had a best friend who was equally as weird (YES ELLIE, I’M LOOKING AT YOU!). We would spend so much time talking about things that most youngsters would have no interest in. We would love scaring ourselves and would often encounter supernatural experiences together. Now, there is a very likely chance that there was a logical reason for all of these goings on and that we just hyped each other up to the point where we thought we saw/heard something, or perhaps it was genuinely real as I’m fairly sure some things I have experienced have been real.In the future I would like to talk more about my spooky experiences because I personally love hearing other people’s ghost stories.

So, from quite a young age, Ellie and I would watch horror films together. I specifically remember watch Hide and Seek, Final Destination and When a Stranger Calls together. I also, from a young age, had an obsession with witches, an obsession which still stands today and I honestly have no idea where this obsession came from. When I was younger my parents would always tell me that monsters and ghosts etc. weren’t real however, as I got older I actually discovered that my mum believes a lot more than she let on; what a little liar right!tenor

As I got older, more and more horror was introduced to my life; Vampires, Zombies, Werewolves, Ghosts, Witches, you name it. Then around the age of fifteen/sixteen I discovered the world of serial killers. It all began with an unhealthy interest in Jack the Ripper and progressed from there.

Nowadays, I’m well known amongst friends and family for living and breathing halloween and horror. I love the films, the books, the television programs and I especially love true life creepy stories. I can’t help it.

We are the weirdos mister giphy (1)

What Makes a Writer?

The other night I had a dream. I mean, to be fair, I dream every night and usually remember them however, this dream really got me thinking; at what point in my life do I become a writer?

In my dream, I was having a debate with my friends after they had told me that I wasn’t allowed to call myself a writer. My dream friends believed that unless you had a piece of writing ‘professionally published’ then you could not call yourself a writer. They also believed that to claim this title, you had to write for your living. Now, this got me thinking; I technically declare myself a writer, is this okay?

Currently, I do not write for a living. This is definitely not an ideal situation for me as I’m desperate to pursue a career in writing and hopefully one day I will have achieved that and, fingers crossed, I will have published works available to purchase. I will of course, continue to work towards this goal.

I write almost every day, whether that’s a blog post or working on my novel so, I would class myself as a writer; even though it feels almost like a hobby to me as I get so much enjoyment out of it. When working on my book the goal is to get it published one day and make some money from it, so surely this is also work?

I guess I have essentially given myself the title of ‘Writer’ and luckily I’ve not had anyone question it, but I’m still unsure whether this is deemed as acceptable in the writing community.

What do you guys think?

Picking up the Pieces.

Today is going to be a bit of a heart to heart. I haven’t blogged in a while and this post should hopefully explain some of the reasons why.

Some of you may, or may not know that I suffer with mental health problems. Unfortunately, this does not mean that I just feel a bit anxious sometimes or I get down in the dumps. I suffer quite intense mental health problems. Over the last year, I have struggled with my mental health more than ever before. I was officially diagnosed with depression and anxiety around July 2016 and was advised to take anti-depressants. I was also offered six free counselling sessions through my work which I could not have been more grateful for.

It’s eight months on and I’m finally beginning to feel like myself again; I have been back at work and I must say, I’ve thrown myself into it. Some people might think that I’m pushing myself too much however, I’m really loving feeling good again and I want to make the most of it.

Today, hasn’t been great. I received a rejection from a job that I had applied for, a job that I REALLY wanted. I had tried so hard at the interview and gave almost all I could, as you do in an interview, but unfortunately, it just wasn’t my time.

I had a cry of course, all the thoughts ran through my head like ‘All of that effort was for nothing.’ but, it wasn’t for nothing. It would be so easy for me to be disheartened about the whole situation but, this is not what is going to happen. I’m going to pick myself up and get on with it. I’m hoping more than anything that this will give me something to work on and I can use this opportunity to progress.

I have always been a strong believer that things happen for a reason and I’m sure there is a reason why this wasn’t my time, hopefully this will come to light eventually. Maybe there’s a publisher just waiting to pick up my book idea?! Haha, wishful thinking there!

Either way, if I look at this situation as a whole, it’s not ideal but, it’s amazing to see how far I have come. A few months ago I was so in the dark that I couldn’t see the light; now I’m able to pick myself up and look at the positives, this in itself is a massive achievement!

I have never really posted anything this personal on my blog however, I want anyone who is having a hard time to know that it can get better, you just have to be patient and persistent. You can do it!

If anyone needs any advice or just someone to listen, feel free to drop me a message. There’s nothing more rewarding than knowing that you can be there for someone in their time of need.

xXx

YA Rantings.

I have been struck down by some lurgy virus! I’m guessing this is my punishment for returning to work and trying to get on with my life…heh heh. Basically, I would rather be talking about this over on my YouTube however, my face and voice are both not camera friendly right now.

Today I want to talk about YA. YA is an abbreviation for Young Adult which, surprise surprise, is the title used for books that are aimed at young adults!

I want to start off by saying that I have not a single issue with YA, if it wasn’t for certain YA books, *cough* Twilight *cough*, I would not be so passionate about reading today. I have spent years delving in and out of the YA world from horror to contemporary to dystopian and I still have what feels like a never-ending pile of these books on my shelf however, I am beginning to feel that they will never be read.

Recently, whilst working on my novel, I hit a bit of a wall. I kept going over the paragraph I had just written and  was far from satisfied with it. After what felt like the millionth re-read I hit save and decided to take a time out. When I find myself deep in a creative block, there are a few things that I do in an attempt to inspire me; I read, watch something, listen to music, or, as I did that day, I watch YouTube videos; more specifically, Booktube videos. Booktube is essentially just the area of YouTube where creators will share their thoughts on books, discuss their most anticipated reads, their TBR (to-be-read) pile etc. etc.

So as I was watching Booktube videos something twigged. The Booktube world is FULL of YA. Now, this is not particularly a bad thing as it encourages youngsters to read which I think is such a wonderful thing however, I noticed that the majority of books I have been reading or purchasing were recommended by Booktubers therefore there tends to be a slight theme in that they are all Young Adult novels. Here lies my issue.

The realisation hit that these books that I had been reading were having an effect on my writing and I was essentially writing a Young Adult book. This may be completely fine for some however, as a twenty two year old, I have decided that I would like my novel’s main audience to be adults and would love for it to read with a sense of sophistication.

This was the moment where I deleted my work and decided to start from scratch; crazy I know, but at the time this is what seemed like the best decision for me and it’s working out pretty well so far. With the idea in mind that I would like to change my writing style, I began to edit my to-be-read list and picked up some books that were slightly more complex in language and story line. I have already began to notice the change in my writing and genuinely enjoy these books a lot more as I felt that YA was beginning to fall a bit short in my honest opinion. I am not in any way saying that I will never read another YA novel, but for now I’m changing things up a little and it’s given me my reading mojo back!

If you are also sick of YA BookTube then just do a little Google and you will find lists recommending non-YA booktubers. Also, as you may know, I have been slightly changing the content on my YouTube so that I can use it as a platform to talk about things that interest me, including books! My first bookish video is on The Shining and I’ll leave it below.

Thanks for reading, if you know any great blogs or YouTubers that review books then let me know!

xXx

 

 

 

Where am I?

It’s been a while. I apologise. If you didn’t know, I had been off work for a while however, I am now back to working full time which means things have slowed down slightly on the creative front just whilst I’m settling back in to my job.

I’m currently trying to balance working, writing a book and keeping up with all of this malarkey and it’s proving to be more difficult than I expected however, I am determined and writing is one of my main priorities so don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere!

I want to ensure that I give 100% to all my posts which is why I have chosen to write this explanation post tonight; I am far too sleepy to be writing anything reasonably decent right now!

Anyway, I hope you all can just bear with me for the time being & if you are really missing me then you can check out my YouTube where I have actually managed to upload a video recently!

Thanks for your patience!

xXx